It’s been 8 months since my last log in to Facebook. And I only know this because I’m able to look to a post somewhere else about officially being out. I actually didn’t think it had been that long.
I’ve realized something in not logging on anymore that has further solidified my decision to not go on it. It gives people an inflated sense of importance. And I can understand how nice that feels. You get some likes, maybe a couple comments, people are paying attention! To you! But the reality seems to be that most of them don’t really care and are just doing something to pass the time. Most of them wouldn’t have cared or noticed if they came across your post or not. Most of them aren’t checking your page to make sure they haven’t missed any thing. I was keeping in touch with people, who barely said anything back if at all, because they were cool people when I knew them. Realistically, most of the people on my friends list had become quite irrelevant. I was wasting my time in keeping in touch with people who didn’t care to keep in touch with me. I understood this more when I had given out my email on a post a month before so those who still wanted to keep in touch could do so. I’ve still never gotten an email. And it’s not like they can argue they never saw it because I know that whenever someone likes or comments on a post FB treats it as a current post and bumps it up in the feed again.
I’m sure this is starting to sound bitter or whiny, “I left FB and now I don’t have any friends! Waaaa!” But I assure you it’s not. This has been an enlightening, empowering, albeit, MAJOR “house cleaning”. I’ve come to the conclusion that I will no longer make time for people who have constantly proven they have no time for me. When I have been the only one reaching out. If someone wants to know something they can ask. Likewise, they can tell me if they want me to know something. And I’ll do the same. In real life I don’t offer up my own current events or past stories unless they’re somehow relevant. I’m not even sure if everyone at work knows I got married in September. (Lol! My own version of don’t ask, don’t tell.) I suppose all this has been easier since I don’t fear/worry about missing out on things.
And even still, there are people I’d love to keep in contact with and it was difficult, initially, to let them go. A reason, a season, a lifetime, I suppose. And I’m still chipping away on other platforms. And do I still try to add people to those other platforms? Indeed I do if I think they’d like it. If they’re not interested then that’s totally cool.
This has given me a kind of freedom.
I can focus a little more on those who are still around and on doing other things, like getting back on track with my reading and exercises. Or even more importantly, spend time with my ageing cat who really loves hanging out on my lap these days. It has simplified my life quite nicely and I don’t feel so spread out.
I’m not trying to convince everyone to leave FB. If you still enjoy being there then that’s great! But if it doesn’t make you happy, even if it did at one time, why are you still logging on? You don’t need it. Don’t be Kip Drody.
And don’t judge yourself by everyones’ highlight reel. What make me think that this will be any different posting here or at all? Absolutely nothing. But someone may see it. And maybe it’ll help them think about some things. And I think I’ll end this post by leaving a few links to some studies regarding FB and other points worth mentioning. Take a look at them maybe?
And just for an attempt at being rounded (I thought this search would’ve brought up more)
CNN – Can Social Media Make You Happy?