It’s been 8 months since my last log in to Facebook. And I only know this because I’m able to look to a post somewhere else about officially being out. I actually didn’t think it had been that long.

I’ve realized something in not logging on anymore that has further solidified my decision to not go on it. It gives people an inflated sense of importance.  And I can understand how nice that feels. You get some likes, maybe a couple comments, people are paying attention! To you!  But the reality seems to be that most of them don’t really care and are just doing something to pass the time. Most of them wouldn’t have cared or noticed if they came across your post or not. Most of them aren’t checking your page to make sure they haven’t missed any thing. I was keeping in touch with people, who barely said anything back if at all, because they were cool people when I knew them. Realistically, most of the people on my friends list had become quite irrelevant. I was wasting my time in keeping in touch with people who didn’t care to keep in touch with me. I understood this more when I had given out my email on a post a month before so those who still wanted to keep in touch could do so. I’ve still never gotten an email. And it’s not like they can argue they never saw it because I know that whenever someone likes or comments on a post FB treats it as a current post and  bumps it up in the feed again.

I’m sure this is starting to sound bitter or whiny, “I left FB and now I don’t have any friends! Waaaa!” But I assure you it’s not. This has been an enlightening, empowering, albeit, MAJOR “house cleaning”. I’ve come to the conclusion that I will no longer make time for people who have constantly proven they have no time for me. When I have been the only one reaching out. If someone wants to know something they can ask. Likewise, they can tell me if they want me to know something. And I’ll do the same. In real life I don’t offer up my own current events or past stories unless they’re somehow relevant. I’m not even sure if everyone at work knows I got married in September. (Lol! My own version of don’t ask, don’t tell.) I suppose all this has been easier since I don’t fear/worry about missing out on things.

And even still, there are people I’d love to keep in contact with and it was difficult, initially, to let them go. A reason, a season, a lifetime, I suppose. And I’m still chipping away on other platforms. And do I still try to add people to those other platforms? Indeed I do if I think they’d like it. If they’re not interested then that’s totally cool.

This has given me a kind of freedom.

I can focus a little more on those who are still around and on doing other things, like getting back on track with my reading and exercises. Or even more importantly, spend time with my ageing cat who really loves hanging out on my lap these days. It has simplified my life quite nicely and I don’t feel so spread out.

I’m not trying to convince everyone to leave FB. If you still enjoy being there then that’s great! But if it doesn’t make you happy, even if it did at one time, why are you still logging on? You don’t need it. Don’t be Kip Drody.

And don’t judge yourself by everyones’ highlight reel. What make me think that this will be any different posting here or at all? Absolutely nothing. But someone may see it. And maybe it’ll help them think about some things. And I think I’ll end this post by leaving a few links to some studies regarding FB and other points worth mentioning. Take a look at them maybe?

Forbes – 46 Things We’ve Learned From Facebook Studies

The Atlantic – Everything We Know About Facebooks’ Secret Mood Manipulation Experiment

The New Yorker – How Facebook Makes Us Unhappy

Slate – The Anti-Social Network

The Guardian – Facebook’s ‘Dark Side’: Study Finds Link To Socially Aggressive Narcissism

And just for an attempt at being rounded (I thought this search would’ve brought up more)
CNN – Can Social Media Make You Happy?


About D.Dinius

I am big on education, animals, and nature. So following that sentence I think it's important to be smart and animals and nature bring clarity and a calmness to things. I am new to actually paying attention and having opinions. This has been building well for about the last year. :)

2 responses »

  1. I understand your leaving, but have to say I miss your posts. I like facebook to keep in touch with family and friend that I would never have known were still out there somewhere. If I don’t get on for days it’s ok and I don’t always reply. I guess I am more a voyeur when it come to reading things. I try to at least like stuff out there for your Mom, but not all her cat stuff. 🙂 And I hardly every reply to all the junk your Aunt Sue posts. I will try to check in with you every so often and of course…you need to keep in touch with your Mom. She needs you. Love you little girl. Just be happy!!

    • I do miss seeing your updates as well! And funny you should mention Sue’s posts because I ended you blocking all her posts for various reasons. But that kind of thing was also another reason I had to go. It felt like such an oddity to have people on a friends list and find you can’t stand or get into what they say or when you ask them about specific ones they don’t respond back. I do try to keep in touch with my mom, but I do wait a little bit in between as well. If I don’t have anything new to tell her it becomes a one sided conversation about all the things in her life she can’t fix. And I need to kinda gear up for those. Alas, i should get going. I love you too! I hope all is well! And happy I am! 🙂

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